still wonder why it takes a death in the family to get all of the family peeps together, even from the other side of the world...*sigh*...in this case, it took my grandmother's death to bring everyone together...

here's a brief summary of her story...im not sure if i got all he details right so if any of my family members are reading this, please correct if needed...

*Mary, born in 1933, was married to Yap and had five children,3 boys and two girls. all seven of them lived in a wooden house in Old Selayang. Mary and Yap supported the family by selling vegetables and merchandise at the morning and night markets.When Daughther #2 was 12yrs old, Mary was widowed.Yap lost his life due to breakdown of his liver.Mary had to do double work,doing more selling at the market.*she had to haul the vegs and merchandise by herself* Daughther #1 stayed home doing chores, cleaning the entire house along with Daughter #2. Son #1 and #3 were doing car body work to help out while Son#2 was doing more things related to Banking. They were still living at the wooden house when the massacre happened in 1967 (somewhere around there) *it was when the muslims set off on a killing spree on all chinese citizens here in Malaysia*. then Daughter#1 got married.Son#1 and #3 left for America. Son#1's sons Brandon and Andy were left with his mother in law to be taken care for. Then Daughther #2 got married.Mary started taking care of Emily when she was born, and then Andrew was born, and then Adam.then Daughter #2 moved to America, taking the whole family with her. Mary was left living alone at a condominium *in malaysia,its like one of the cheapest flats* .Son #2 was left in charge of taking care of her,visiting her once a week.all that was in that condo was an armchair, dining table,a small TV with an old VCR,her bed and some storage.Finally when Em,Andrew and Adam came back in late 2004,She had more companions.Yet these three failed to give her the companionship she was hoping for.Only Managed to visit her once a month..sometimes more than that. With all her health complications (lungs,heart,kidney and legs) Son #2 then decided to relocate her in a nursing home. Mary hated it there, other elderlies would steal her food,even her medicine.She only has a room to look at and would complain that there was a malay guy peeping into her room. Finally, she managed to convince Son#2 that she does not want to go back. Mary requested that Emily move in with her. Emily was not considerate and attentive enough to abandon her studies and work to move in and take care of her,so she felt unwanted and a burden. After months of suffering in pain (from her legs when she fell before) and from being alone, Mary became very sick on February 22nd, 2006. Emily managed to speak to her on the phone but not much as Mary was coughing and had trouble talking. Daughter #2 was freaking out as she is on the other side of the world, only able to listen and imagine all that Mary is going thru. Son#2 took Mary to the hospital that evening. Mary only spent one night at the Hospital and passed away on February 23rd, 2006 at 3PM *

*Mary didnt have a very happy and fairy tale-like life, it was spent mostly by herself and taken for granted by most of her own family. No one even offered to have her live in their home after her injury from a fall. No one offered to live with her to take care of her. No one drop by her place every day to check on her. Her only companions were the spirits she claimed she could see and talk to.*

I feel like total utter shittiest of the shit......I know she doesnt have to suffer anymore, and I know she's with Gong Gong and X now....but i still feel like putting my own head thru the fuckin wall....regretting all the things that i DID NOT do for her...this incredible woman who helped take care of Me and my brothers when we were young...We "sent" her a mansion, her favourite arm chair, a benz with a driver and maids and money this morning. hopefully She and Gong Gong will enjoy them. (the chinese buddhist tradition is burning paper houses,cars,money,maids....etc....for the Dead who are awaiting for judgement day,whether they go to heaven or hell,which could be a long wait). The crematation ceremony was....undescribable....it just hurts like shit...

May she rest in peace...Mary Chan Yeut Hwa...